


Fake It

by eating_custardinbed



Series: The Internet Made Me Write It [18]
Category: IT Crowd
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Coming Out, Cute, Cutesy, Episode Style, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluffy, Getting Together, M/M, One Shot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28856658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eating_custardinbed/pseuds/eating_custardinbed
Summary: Roy needs a fake date for a wedding. Unfortunately, he doesn't reallyknowanyone who will oblige...........Or does he?
Relationships: Maurice Moss/Roy Trenneman
Series: The Internet Made Me Write It [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990789
Kudos: 42





	Fake It

**Author's Note:**

> thankyou to the wonderful anon who requested this!!! this has been rolling around my head for a few days actually and i think i've got it *down*. please enjoy!!!

It was a Monday morning, and Roy was once again telling Moss about his weekend dating escapades. 

"So we get to the restaurant," the Irishman said, gesturing to his best friend with his coffee cup. Moss nodded as he folded his arms across his chest and leaned back comfortably in his chair. Jen was sitting on the sofa, reading a magazine and pretending not to be listening to their conversation. "At this point it's all being going _great_." 

"Was she nice?" Moss asked. Roy laughed a little, nodding. 

" _Gorgeous_ ," he replied. "Pretty, clever, funny... she was perfect." 

"So what went wrong?" Moss said. Roy made a face, taking a long sip of coffee. 

"Well we were having dinner. Everything had all gone great. Then all of a sudden this guy shows up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. I recognised him as her ex-boyfriend." 

"Did you stalk--"

"Of course I stalked her Friendface!" Roy paused again as Jen rolled her eyes and Moss watched him avidly. "Anyway, he leans down, whispers something in her ear and before I knew it she got up and left!" 

"No!" Moss exclaimed, his voice low. Roy nodded. 

"Honestly, it's ridiculous!" he said. "I'm _nothing_ but polite and charming to these girls and--"

Before Roy could finish his sentence, though, he was cut off by the phone ringing shrilly. He fell silent, rolling his eyes and glancing at the other two before picking the phone up. "Hello IT, have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"Roy? What?" 

Shit. That was his sister. His eyes widened and he looked over to Moss, pointing to the phone and mouthing his sister's name to him. Moss gave him a confused look, tilting his head to the side. Jen was looking between them in utter bafflement. 

"Oh, er, sorry Jess," Roy said a little awkwardly. "Work phone. How are you?" 

"Yeah, fine," his sister answered quickly. "You're still coming next week, aren't you?" 

"What?" 

"Don't tell me you've forgotten!" she exclaimed. Roy shook his head.

"No, no, I haven't," he said. He had a horrible sinking feeling that this was something that was actually _important_. 

"Roy, it's my _wedding_! You can't have forgotten about my wedding!" 

Shit, of course! It wasn't like his mother had been going on about it for the past six months during their weekly phone calls. He wasn't even sure why she was asking, as if he'd RSVP'd "no" then his mother would have had his guts for garters. All of the family who were still living in Ireland were coming over (according to his mother), and Roy had promised to travel over to Bristol for a day or two for the affair. 

"Yeah, I'm still coming," he said. 

"And you're still bringing a plus-one?" 

Double shit. 

When he'd filled in the RSVP three months ago, he had had a girlfriend. Not two weeks after sending the card back the two of them had broken up, and Roy had been too ashamed to say anything. 

"Um, y-yeah," he stammered. He tried to covertly look up at Jen, only to see her narrow her eyes at him and look straight back down. "Yeah, I will do." 

"I knew it was a good idea to call you and check." 

"Yeah," Roy said with a nervous laugh. 

"So I'll see you next weekend?" 

"Yeah, course. Bye." 

"Bye." 

Almost in shock Roy put the phone back down. When he looked up, he saw that both Jen and Moss were watching him. He sent them both a strange look and they looked back down. There were a few minutes where no-one was doing much except clicking around on their computers (Moss and Roy) and pretending to read again (Jen), until Roy finally sighed heavily and got up from his desk. Before Jen knew what was happening Roy was sat next to her, giving her the puppy-dog eyes she knew well of old. She suppressed a sigh as she put her magazine to the side. 

"What?" she said as she narrowed her eyes at him. 

"Je-e-e-e-en, are you doing anything next Saturday?" he asked. His voice was sugary sweet. In desperation Jen looked up, but Moss had disappeared, presumably to get food. She sighed again. 

"I'm meeting with the Queen of Sheba," she said, her voice thick with sarcasm. Roy's face fell a little and she couldn't help but giggle. "No, I'm free. Why?" 

Roy _um_ ed and _ahh_ ed at this, looking around the top of the room. He was tapping along the top of the sofa, his hand getting steadily closer to her. 

"Would you-u-u-u... come to my sister's wedding with me?" he asked. 

"What, as a date?" she replied. She gave him a strange look.

"No!" Roy exclaimed. Then he looked down. "Um, ah, unless you want it to be...?" 

"No!" Jen shouted pretty much immediately. "Oh my God, no!" 

"Bit harsh," Roy said. She rolled her eyes at him. 

"You know what I mean," she said. 

"Look, I told my sister I'd bring a plus-one but I don't know, well, _anyone_ who will go with me so you're my only option." 

"Flattering," Jen said. She sighed, getting up from the sofa and walking over to the coffee machine. "I'm not coming." 

"What!?" Roy exclaimed. He sat up a little straighter on the sofa. "Why not?" 

"My school reunion?" She arched an eyebrow at him, fixing him with a look. "Taste your own medicine, bitch." 

"Well then who am I supposed to take!?" he asked. He sounded almost despondent, leaning back against the sofa, looking up and putting his hands over his face. 

"What about Moss?" Jen said with a small shrug. 

Roy paused. He took his face out of his hands, looking back down from the ceiling and fixing his co-worker with a withering look. 

"I'm sorry, are we in the same _universe_ right now?" he said. "I said a plus-one." 

"And? He counts as a person, right?" 

"For a wedding, Jen. A _wedding_. My sister's wedding, no less. They're all expectin' me to turn up with a date!" 

"My point still stands," Jen said after a moment. 

"I'm sorry, I really don't think we're having the same conversation here," Roy said. He got up from the sofa, coming over and standing next to Jen. He leaned against the side. "I'm talking about a date. Well, a fake date anyway. You're telling me to take my best mate to my sister's wedding." 

"No, what I'm _telling_ you is to take Moss as your date," Jen said. Roy gave her a confused look, leaning back a little. 

"I'm not gay," he said. Jen rolled her eyes. 

"Sure," she said. He shook his head at her, and she couldn't help but laugh at that. "Sweetheart, we've all seen you looking at the cute guys up on Eighth."

"What, no!" Roy yelled. Jen put her hand to her mouth, shaking her head as she chuckled. "Jen!" 

"Okay, okay, sorry," she said. "Look, take my advice or not. But I'm not going with you."

"What are you not going with Roy to?" 

Jen giggled again, looking up at Roy. The Irishman was shaking his head at her, clasping his hands in front of him almost like a prayer. Jen shook her head in response. He threw her under the bus before, and as she'd said, it was time for him to taste his own medicine. 

"Roy needs a date for his sister's wedding next Saturday," she said. She started to walk away as she heard Roy make a frustrated noise and then swear under his breath. "I'll be in my office if you need me!" 

Roy put his hand over his eyes, letting out a long, low sigh. This was it. He couldn't escape it now. Moss was a sweetheart, of course he was, but he was terrible for jumping to conclusions. He heard Moss chuckle a little and then sigh. 

"What's the dress code?" he asked. 

"Moss, no," Roy said quickly. "No, no, no." 

"What?"

"No-o-o-o-o-o-o." He paused, and then quickly added, "and it's not a date, it's a plus-one." 

"So?" Moss replied. "I'm free, you need a plus-one... seems perfect." 

"No, Moss, I can't take a _guy_ with me to my sister's wedding! What will my family say?"

"Well hopefully nothing, considering it's your sister's wedding. Surely it's her day?" 

"I'm not gay!" Roy exploded. Moss stepped backwards, giving him a shocked look before lowering his eyes to the floor and putting his hands in his pockets. 

"Okay." 

"You're not gay." 

Moss looked up at that.

"What, yes I am?" 

"I'm not gay, you're not gay, you can't be my date for my sister's wedding!"

"I thought you said it was a pl--"

"Plus one, I meant plus one!" 

"Also, I am gay." 

Roy sighed, putting his hand over his face for a moment before looking back up at his best friend. 

"No, Moss. You're _not_ gay."

Moss gave him a strange look. 

"Yes," he said again. "I _am_." 

"No, you're--" At that moment it seemed to hit Roy what his best friend was saying. He stopped talking, his mouth dropping open. Moss was shifting on the spot, his hands still in his pockets as he stared at the floor. "Wait, hang on a second." 

"Yeah?" Moss replied. His voice was faint and he didn't look up. 

"Did you just... _come out_ to me?" Roy asked. Moss did look up then, taking his hand out of his pocket to adjust his glasses. 

"Ma-a-aybe?" he said. 

There were a few moments of quiet, where Moss stared at the ground, Roy stared at his best friend and Jen watched them both through a gap in the blinds from her office. 

"Jesus Christ, I am _not_ having a normal day," Roy murmured. Moss looked up at that. He was biting his lip. 

"Are you... not okay with me being gay?"

"What?" Roy said. He smiled a little at his best friend, stepping forward and resting his hand on Moss' arm. "No, nothing like that. I have many questions but they can wait." He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. As he looked down he thought he saw Jen in her office window, but when looked back again she wasn't there. He shrugged, looking back to Moss. "Now, what am I gonna do about this plus-one business? It's not like _we_ can go together..."

***

"Right, let's go over the rules again," Roy said. From where he was sitting opposite Moss nodded. "They know who you are, or at least they will when they hear your name, so we don't need to explain how we met. We don't talk about Amsterdam, or the Gay musical, or anything like that. The backstory of our relationship is that we've known each other for long that we both started wondering if we could ever be any more and we decided to give it a go. Hand-holding and hugging is fine, as is a bit of slow-dancing. But under no circumstances, there is--"

"No kissing," Moss finished. He smiled weakly at his best friend, adjusting his glasses. They were both dressed ready for the wedding ("so we can spend the least amount of time there" Roy claimed), and Roy did have to admit that his best friend did look rather dashing in his Dragon's Den suit. The Irishman cleared his throat as he pushed the thought out of his mind. He could feel his cheeks growing hot. 

"Yeah, no kissing," he said, his voice low. He slouched down in his seat. "God knows we don't need a repeat of the Gas Works." 

"Is your sister going to have police cars suddenly crash into her wedding?" Moss asked. He sounded rather concerned about it. Roy let out a snort of laughter. 

"'S unlikely, Moss." 

"Okay dear," Moss replied. 

That caught Roy up a little short. He sat up, fixing Moss with a look. 

"Dear?" 

"Well, if you want your family to believe that we're dating, I think pet names would be useful," Moss said as he reached forward, grabbing a packet of sweets. As he bit into a strawberry lace at the end of this sentence, he gave Roy a look. The Irishman found himself suddenly unable to do much more than nod. Moss returned the gesture. "Right then."

Roy shook his head to himself, turned to look out of the train window and tried to make sense of his mixed up emotions. 

***

Luckily the Bristol traffic was significantly calmer than London traffic, and despite a slight half-hour train delay they were still at the venue with plenty of time to spare. 

"Right no kissing, no over-egging the PDA, keep it calm on pet names and let me do the talking," Roy hissed as they walked up the path leading to the front of the church. They were shoulder-to-shoulder, close but still possibly mistakable for friends. Honestly, Roy was comfortable with that, but before they could get any further he thought it crucial to emphasise one last point. He grabbed Moss to stop him. His friend turned to him. "And Moss?" 

"Yeah?" 

"This isn't real, remember?" 

"This isn't real," Moss repeated. "I know." 

Roy sighed a little in relief, shoulders sagging as he nodded. Moss reached down, grabbing Roy's hand in his. "Shall we?" 

Roy's mind was swirling as they made their way up the path to the front doors of the church. All of a sudden he was starting to regret this a little. What was his mother going to say? Was his sister going to think he was trying to overshadow her big day by showing up with a guy? How would his family react to him being--

Hang on. This wasn't _real._ He chuckled to himself. Forget Moss getting too into the ruse, he himself had completely forgotten that it was all fake! Yeah, of course it wasn't real. He would never date a _guy_... no matter the fuzzy feelings he got when he looked at some of the guys at work, or those late-night videos he sometimes caught himself watching, or how damn _perfectly_ Moss' hand fitted into his...

"Roy!" 

His mother squealing his name brought himself of his thoughts. He looked up just in time for his mother to envelope him in a hug. With his free arm he hugged her back, shooting the giggling Moss a desperate look. 

"Hi mum," he said. 

"Oh I'm so glad you could make it!" she said as she let him go. "What with you working in the big city and everything!" 

"You know I get weekends off, Ma," Roy mumbled, clearing his throat before his mother could pick up what he'd said. "Yeah, managed to work the schedule." 

"Well it's good of you to be here for your big sister's wedding," she said approvingly. "She thought you'd forget."

"Nope, I managed to..." Roy said awkwardly before trailing off. Then he shook his head. "Anyway, how has it all been?"

"It's been surprisingly unstressful," she said. She gestured for them to follow her into the front of the church and they did so. The boys glanced at each other nervously: they were both a little surprised that Roy's mother hadn't mentioned Moss yet. "Your father has been worse than useless." 

"That's not good," Roy said. His mother let out a snort of laughter. 

"No, I'd be more worried if he was anything _other_ than useless," she said. "No, I've sent him off to check the flowers. He should be able to manage that." 

"Well, that's good," Roy said. His hopes for avoiding any conversation about his plus-one were rising. "Where are--"

"Who's this?" his mother interrupted as she looked down at their joined hands and then back up at her son. Of course. Of _fucking_ course. Roy suppressed a sigh, hanging his head for a moment before looking back up. Weirdly, he noticed how Moss' hand tensed slightly in his. 

"Um, Mum, this is Moss," he said. Her eyes lit up in recognition at that and she turned to Moss, sending him a dazzling smile. "He's here as my, um--"

"I'm his date," Moss said with a winning smile, offering Roy's mother his hand. 

Roy looked down at his feet and tried not to scream. 

***

"What the _hell_ were you thinking!?" Roy hissed as they took their seats, gently hitting Moss on the arm. They had just endured half an hour of excited questioning from his mother (and father, who had inexplicably appeared), and much to Roy's delight Moss had kept his mouth shut for most of it. "We could've got away with it there!" 

"We agreed that we would be pretending to date," Moss said, sounding non-plussed. "That's exactly what we did." 

"Yeah, if it came to them questioning why you were bloody here!" the Irishman said. 

"And they were about to. Anyway, your mother and father seemed fine with you being gay." 

"I'm not gay!" 

"I know, I know, sorry." 

Roy huffed a little, folding his arms over his chest and slouching in his seat. This was an entire nightmare. He'd _known_ it would be a bad idea to invite Moss along. Not that there was anything wrong with Moss of course, quite the opposite in fact, but at this point he'd rather have shown up alone and not had to face all of this questioning about his sexuality. 

"Anyway, even if I did like guys I wouldn't be gay, I'd be bisexual," he murmured to his best friend. "Or have you forgotten about all the girlfriends I've ever had." 

"I said I was sorry," Moss whispered back. 

"Sit up straight!" his mother hissed at him, hitting him with her hymn book as she sat down. Roy made a small noise of pain but did as he was told. To be quite honest, this was the most comforting part of the day so far. It reminded him of being dragged to church every Sunday as a teenager. 

"Sorry," he said quietly back.

"It's your sister's wedding, show some respect," his father added lowly. Roy did his best not to roll his eyes. 

"Alright, alright." 

"Anyway it'll be your wedding next, you need to practice," his mother said. 

If anything, Roy sunk down even lower in his seat. 

***

The wedding was... well, it was just fine. To Roy, it was just like every single other wedding he'd ever had to go to. His mother had cried, though, and he was sure he'd caught his father was a glassy eye more than once during the ceremony. Comfortingly every time he'd looked over Moss had seemed just as confused and bored as he was. Then there had been travelling to the reception, which was being held on the historic _SS Great Britain_ ship and which Roy couldn't help but privately think was a little pretentious, and a big sit-down dinner and even more questions from even more family members. By the end of it Roy was utterly exhausted, and was just hoping to have enough drinks to get him drunk, escaping with Moss before the Cha Cha Slide was played and get on a train back to London. 

Unfortunately, his mother was making that look less and less unlikely. 

After the speeches, the cutting of the cake and the first dance had happened, she had all but effectively trapped Moss in a corner and along with one of Roy's aunts was extracting his life story from him whilst also grilling him on his intentions with one of the youngest adult members of the family whilst Roy had been stolen away by his father and two other sisters for a thorough questioning. Every so often the boys would catch each others' eyes in utter panic, but there was no getting away. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" Shania, one of his sisters, asked him pointedly. 

"What?" he said. He'd been looking over at Moss, trying to communicate to him the need to get out of here by... he wasn't sure, telekinesis? He looked down to his sister. 

"Why didn't you tell us that you're gay?" she pressed. 

"I'm not!" he yelled. Everyone turned to look at them then, and Roy looked at the ground as his cheeks flushed. He lowered his voice as he said, "I'm not gay." 

"Son, you just showed up to your sister's wedding with a lad on your arm," his father said as he arched an eyebrow. Roy turned to his father, shaking his head. 

"You too?" he said. His father chuckled. 

"Just bowing to logic, lad." 

"Well anyway, I'm not gay," Roy said. "Ever heard of bisexuality?" 

The other three made a small _ahh_ noise at that, glancing at each other as they nodded. Roy made a strange face as he watched them.

"Okay," his father eventually said. "Go on then, back to your boyfriend." 

"He's not my--" Roy started to say, but he cut himself off with a frustrated sigh. "Alright, whatever."

Before he could be entrapped for any longer he slipped away, walking over to where his mum and aunt were. The women turned to him as they heard him approach. They both looked very excited. Moss was pressed up against the wall, looking utterly terrified. 

"You never told me you two kissed all those years ago in Amsterdam!" his mother squealed. 

"Yeah, well, we were drunk," Roy mumbled. He looked up, trying his best to muster up a loving look whilst also trying to glare at his best friend with his eyes. "Moss?" 

Moss nodded, and they quickly absconded away. 

They made their way out of the main function room up the stairs to the main deck of the ship. There were a few people standing around smoking, so Roy pulled his best friend over to most secluded area of the deck. After taking his suit jacket off and rolling his sleeves up, Moss leaned against the edge of the ship, letting out a deep slow breath as he looked out onto the sea and the setting sun. 

"Thank you, that was all getting--"

"Look, what the _hell_ do you think you're playing at!?" Roy exclaimed quietly. His voice was low and dangerous. Moss turned to look at him in confusion. 

"What?" he said. 

"Why did you tell them about Amsterdam, I said _don't_ tell them about Amsterdam!" the Irishman continued. He didn't even seem to have registered that Moss had spoken. "That was one of the only things you weren't supposed to do!" 

"I'm sorry, okay!?" Moss exclaimed. He turned fully away from the sea, leaning his back against the edge of the deck. "They were asking me so many questions and I didn't know what to say!" 

"You could have said anything, literally _anything,_ and it would have been better than telling them about fucking Amsterdam!" Roy yelled. "Going in introducing yourself as my date, you just decided to break all the rules, didn't you!?" 

"I was just trying to help!" Moss shouted back. He pushed himself off of the edge of the deck, taking a step towards his best friend. "You asked for my help!" 

"I never _asked_ for your help, Jen said one thing and you jumped in! This breaks all the rules of being best friends!" 

"I'm sorry, okay!?" 

"Look at you, going round and breaking all the rules we set up! Well I can break the rules too!" 

Before Moss knew what was happening, Roy took his face in his hands and kissed him. 

What had started out as a harsh kiss, full of anger and fury, quickly melted into a soft, gentle one. Moss could feel his heart rate speed up as he nervously raised his hands and rested them either side of Roy's middle. As the Irishman tilted him down a little, he leaned down with it. After a moment Roy leant away and Moss let his eyes flicker open, looking up at his best friend as he took a small breath. 

"Roy..." he whispered softly. They were both quiet for a moment, not moving an inch. "You broke the last rule." 

"I know," Roy said. He sounded almost shocked. 

"What do we--" 

Before Moss could finish his sentence Roy reached forward, placing a finger over his lips. He fell quiet obligingly. 

"Do you really want to fake it anymore?" Roy asked quietly. After a moment, Moss shook his head.

Roy took no time at all to pull him into another kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> thankyou so much for reading!!! please leave comments and/or kudos if you can, they make me so happy!!! remember, if you want to request a fic from me just head over to my tumblr @thatludicrousdisplay and check out my pinned post 
> 
> stay safe and happy, y'all xx


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